Your Real Authentic self

Your Real Authentic self

Written By: Kylie Beth Davis

November, 2008

I want to start by asking you a question, "When is the last time you were really you." That question is one of the toughest questions I have ever had to "try," to answer. Many people would be quick to say oh about an hour ago, or right now, but are they right. "Really you," are the key words in the phrase, not someone else, not someone that somebody wants you to be, but really you. The authentic self, as some psychologist might call it. I was sitting in my counselor's office enraged and rampant about my life and the gruesome particulars that have stirred together to fabricate who I am and she stopped me. "When were you last you?" I choked up on the question, as uncomplicated as it may sound, I just could not remember. If you close your eyes and just unwind, and think of the last time you really felt like yourself, doing the things that make up who you really are, you will find more times than not that you have altered to fit someone else's "you." We are all made up of different remarkable factors, different character traits that need to be expressed. We are all giving a purpose to be here in this "part time," world, just to plant our feet in our stepping stone of faith. I have incredible faith, extremely amazing, and rely on my Savior ultimately no matter what, however it takes time to be at a place where you can sit back and say, "God take over, my life is steering off course when I drive." I did not just dream up this faith over night, I can assure you it was mixed together with obstacles and trials that had to be overcome first. The last time that I was actually myself was when I was born. The day that I was born I was exactly who God wanted me to be, my authentic self. However, over the years of learning, watching and being taught, who we are seems to be the least important factor on our list. The things that matter most to us is how other people see us. Persistently walking the path that you know is right, the path that you feel is encouraging and relying on God to carry you when you cannot walk is sometimes the most uncomfortable thing to do. Let me ask you a question, "If you close your eyes and I tell you to think of five things you have done in the past week for yourself," could you? You probably could not because our character is made up of what other people need us to do, want us to do or want us to be. We infrequently ever sit in front of the mirror and say, "how would you like to be treated today." You matter, I matter, our own individual lives matter. I was told to think of a list of ideas and goals of positive inner thoughts to redirect my "stinking thinking." Write them down, and accomplish them, think of it as your own personal "bucket list." Getting to your real authentic self ultimately means releasing yourself from controlling your own life. Let go and let God, has always been my motto. If you have a computer programmer and he writes a computer program for a company, who do you think is the first person that will get to try that computer program out and fix any kinks or bugs? The programmer, exactly, God is our programmer; he designed us inside and out and produced us. So isn't it only fair that we give God the opportunity to take a test run and set our boundaries of life. God gave everything he had so that we could be "us." If you had to make that choice, could you right now. Could you risk losing everything that "you," worked so hard for? Could you spare your freedom of speech, if someone else could not talk? Could you spare your clothing if someone was cold? We all jump up and say yes in a skinny minute; however is that the truth, would we keep something to the side so that we would still have something. We all probably would be a little greedy, but was God. No, God said take me as I am.

God is the most amazing counselor you could ever have, because he already knows you, he knows your next move and word. Look up, when you are feeling down and walk in the light instead of the dark. If you do these things, your authentic self that God created will continue to shine and your answer to the question in the beginning will always be answered with, "I am right here." God wants us to lean on him, depend on him and ask him for direction. It amazes me to no end that people are embarrassed to let God control their life. It amazes me that people walk around doubting the very person that loved them enough to give everything he had so that you and I could live. I heard a question posed to someone one day that said, "If you hate God so much and don't believe he is ultimately there for you, then why do you question him in times of need and try to remove him from everything?"

Take a moment and reflect back on your life and the plans that you have made for yourself. Were they plans that outlined your ultimate purpose or were they plans to fill the now. Our only purpose for being here in this temporary world is to seed ourselves a place for our eternity with Him. The one who gave it all! I love the phrase "let's bring God back," God never left, he never leaves. The problem with that statement is this, "you turned away." The world turns away from what is right because facing it means explaining why you are not having faith. Waiting on faith is a lot harder than taking on the task ourselves even if it means failing. I would much rather wait on God and have it take a little while to complete than to risk having failure over and over again. How many times do you drive down a "no outlet," street before you realize the only way out is the way you came in? How many times would it take you to back up and look both ways before you crossed the street? So why does it take people years and years of misery to see that God never left you, he has been holding your hand the entire time. He has been walking with you and carrying you and following you even though you have turned your cheek.

The ultimate phrase that keeps amazing faith first in your life is "God never closes a door without opening another." If you truly believe this and have no questions of doubt in your mind you will see his miraculous wonders over and over again. I also want to say one further thing, if God is trying to get your attention, turn to him, please! The hardest lesson learned is walking the opposite direction from God. Believe me when I tell you, if God wants your undivided attention he is going to get it no matter what. You will stop solid in your tracks and turn to him because at that moment I guarantee you that you will need him unconditionally. God loves you and wants you to really be you, daily.

 
 

"It's never too late to turnaround while you are here." It's never too late to say I was wrong and I am sorry, but it is much too late to be making excuses for why God is to blame for your problems when you shut him out a long time ago. Open the door, open your heart and accept that God wants you to close the door softly on your past, but open it firmly in knowing your future is safe with him.